I'll Be Coming 'Round
by scarlettshazam
Summary: Tweek comes to the realization that he's the only virgin left in his group of friends, and doesn't like it one bit. Luckily, Kenny's in the business of helping people lose their virginities. Twenny oneshot.


**Soundtrack: Devil Town – The Builders and the Butchers**

It's a gorgeous day, the kind near the end of the school year where nobody wants to be trapped inside their classes with the teachers droning on about this or that. They're in biology now, but their teacher isn't discussing biology, he's droning on about the importance of college essays, something that they won't have to worry about for a whole more year and half. Their sophomore year is about to come to a close, and nobody is more relieved than Tweek. This whole year has been hellishly stressful, even with his newfound confidence and his stutter finally gone. Trying to balance his grades with working for his parents has been the biggest challenge, made only easier by the fact that Kenny is around at work to bring Tweek out of his freak-outs.

The bell rings and Tweek jets out of his seat. He's hungry as fuck, and sitting in front of a teacher that he wasn't listening to only gave him more time to think about food. He dumps his belongings in his locker and makes a beeline for the cafeteria. The line is already huge, and he doesn't know how so many people always manage to get there before him when he's always the first student out of the classroom. He sees Clyde near the front of the line and sighs in relief. He shoves his way through the other students and slips next to Clyde, elbowing Red out of the way.

"Watch it, dick!" she says.

Tweek sticks his tongue out at her.

"How was your weekend, man?" Tweek asks. He'd been late to school this morning on account of sleeping in – his mother always lets him, even when she shouldn't. He didn't get a chance to catch up with his friends before he had to rush to his first period of the day.

Clyde grins like he's been waiting for somebody to ask him this all day. He motions for Tweek to lean in closer, and whispers, "Craig and I _did it._"

"_You had sex_?" Tweek exclaims, unable to contain himself.

"Shh!" Clyde hushes him, "Craig doesn't want people to know yet, but he said that we could tell our friends if we wanted. So you and Token know, now. You can't tell anybody."

"I won't," Tweek says, though he's bad at keeping secrets and he'll probably let it slip by accident. He and Token have a bet going on those two – Token bet that they'd harbor feelings for each other but never act on it, and Tweek bet that they'd seal the deal before graduation. He'll have to collect his twenty bucks when Craig and Clyde aren't around to hear that they've been wagered on.

Everything that the school serves looks gross, but Tweek opts for pizza, because they buy it en masse from someplace else, and he can dab off the grease with a napkin when they get back to their table. As he and Clyde take their trays to the silverware stand, Tweek asks, "Who topped?"

Clyde turns red and says, "Tweek, you can't just ask people who topped!"

"Why not?" asks Tweek, "I'm just curious."

Clyde knows that Tweek has never been quite certain of his sexuality, mostly because he doesn't give it that much thought. He doesn't think he'd mind anybody, really, if they were brave enough to tolerate being with him in a relationship. Most people, or more accurately, no people are that brave. Other than his friends and Kenny, people avoid Tweek like the plague. Maybe it's the twitching, but Tweek's pretty sure what puts people off his brutal honesty.

Clyde sighs and says, "Craig did."

"How was it?"

Clyde shrugs, "It kind of hurt a lot, but Craig was really sweet."

"Craig was _sweet,_" Tweek repeats, to make certain that he heard that correctly.

"He can be sweet," defends Clyde, "Don't tell him I said that, though."

Though Tweek has more questions that he wants to ask, Clyde tells him to drop it when they get to their lunch table. They're the last to arrive. Token has a fancy lunch packed into a bento box, Craig is finishing the last of his pizza, and Kevin has a PB & J sandwich that he brought in his _vintage Star Wars lunchbox _(Kevin likes to remind them of this fact every time he talks about the lunchbox, which is fairly often).

"So I guess Tweek is the only virgin left at this table," remarks Craig absently.

"What? I am not," Tweek says, "Kevin's a virgin."

Kevin looks up and shakes his head at Tweek. He responds, "I lost it a couple weeks ago to a slave Leia at Starfest, dude. It was fucking awesome."

"Jesus, you've got to be shitting me," Tweek says, "How am I the last one here to have sex?" Token was bound to have sex before any of them – he's handsome, smart, charming, rich – so there's no surprise there. And okay, Tweek saw the Clyde and Craig thing coming from a mile away, or else he wouldn't have bet money on it. But _Kevin_? Awkward, quiet Kevin Stoley that's harbored a crush on Red since they were children?

Tweek isn't bad looking. He's a little too tall and little too angular, but he's pretty sure he has a nice face. Has his mirror mislead him this entire time?

"Dude, you don't even talk to anybody but us," Token pointedly says.

Tweek scowls, "Other people think I'm weird."

"We think you're weird, too," Craig assures him.

Tweek picks a slimy peach out of his fruit cup and throws it at Craig. It nails him in the face and lands in his lap, a fate that Tweek feels is well-deserved.

Still, he can't help but wonder as lunch ends and he wearily slogs through the remaining classes of the day if what Craig says is true. He's noticeable, that much is true. He's a fan of dressing in bright colors and strange outfits. But he's not _weird. _He thinks. He likes things that other people do, like coffee, and television, and playing video games. And he hates school, like most teenagers do. He just throws the occasional fit and has a photographic memory.

Are those weird?

Probably.

Art class is Tweek's final class of the day, and his favorite. They're working on final projects now, and Tweek's is a hyper realistic rendering of a spider that he found in his basement and took a picture of to document before he squished the fuck out of it. It looks alright, but not exactly what he was going for. He'll still get an A, though. He always does in art class.

After class wraps up, Tweek leaves school feeling better, but still odd. He knows he shouldn't place so much value on whether or not he's been naked with somebody for, but he does _want_ sex, it just hasn't happened yet. He'd be ready for it if it did. For fuck's sake, he keeps a condom in his wallet just in case.

By the time that Tweek arrives at work, he's full-on pouting about this state of affairs. Kenny waves cheerfully when he comes through the front door and Tweek can't muster much of a reaction before he ducks into the backroom to grab his apron out of his locker.

"What's up, dude?" asks Kenny. He smiles easily as he asks, and it makes Tweek smile a little in return. Kenny wouldn't make fun of him for being a virgin. Kenny's not the kind of person that would do that. Maybe to his own circle of friends, but not to Tweek.

Tweek rubs a hand over his face and through his hair, tugging at it a little in his frustration. He responds, "Gah! Clyde and Craig had sex and now I'm the only one of my friends that hasn't. It fucking sucks, man."

Kenny's brows lift at that. He asks, "Seriously? Even Kevin?"

"He says he slept with a girl dressed as slave Leia at the scifi convention," Tweek sighs.

"_Nice_," Kenny expresses, "But dude, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin. I mean, if you're not ready, then you're not ready, and that's that." He gives Tweek a helpful pat on the back as Wendy walks into the shop, and goes to the register to take her order.

Tweek makes her drink, a raspberry latte, before he returns to Kenny's side and explains, "I _am_ ready, dude. Jesus, I want to fuck somebody. It sounds like fun and I guess everybody thinks I'm weird or something, so nobody's gonna sleep with me. That sucks, man. And my dickhead friends are making fun of me for it."

Kenny waves him off and says, "Dude, whatever. I'd totally fuck you."

Tweek goes silent for a moment. He tries to gauge whether or not Kenny is joking, because Kenny does joke about sex a lot. But as Tweek studies Kenny's earnest expression, he thinks that Kenny is being completely truthful. And it makes him feel a little tingly with adrenaline.

"Um," Tweek says, "You would?" Just to be positive.

Kenny claps Tweek on the shoulder and responds, "Definitely."

"Then, um, can we?" Tweek asks, wringing his hands. He stares down at the floor as he makes his request. All of the blood is rushing to his face. He really hopes that Kenny doesn't tell him no, because now that the idea's in his head, he doesn't think that he can let it go. He thinks of how Kenny has a nice mouth and how fit he looked in his swimsuit at Clyde's birthday pool party last weekend.

Kenny cocks his head and laughs.

"Okay, asshole, sorry, I thought you were serious," Tweek rolls his eyes and shoves Kenny off to the side.

Kenny wipes his eyes and says, "I was, man. I just wasn't expecting that. C'mere." He gestures for Tweek to get close to him.

Tweek fidgets and says, "We're doing it right _here_? But what if somebody comes in?"

"Dude, we'll go in the back room for the actual sex part, just c'mere," Kenny repeats, "You don't have to be so fucking suspicious of everything, you know."

Tweek spares a glance behind himself at the front door, but main street is vacant, just like the coffee shop. He takes a cautious step toward Kenny, and lets Kenny cup his face, running his thumbs over Tweek's cheekbones, and gently pulling him closer. Kenny smirks right before he leans up to kiss Tweek, pushing their lips together softly at first, then coaxing Tweek's mouth open with his tongue. Kenny tastes like cigarettes, but it's not entirely unpleasant. He's close enough to Tweek that Tweek can feel the heat radiating off of his body. His tongue feels amazing as it works with Tweek's.

Kenny tangles his hands in Tweek's hair and forces him in closer. Tweek moans a little at the sensation, which only makes Kenny press into him harder.

Kenny draws back suddenly and grins. He says, "Yeah, this is good. You're a natural, dude, a real natural."

"I am?" Tweek laughs nervously, glad to know that he's not completely incompetent.

Kenny nods. He leans into Tweek's neck and licks a long line up his skin. He nips down and starts to suck, just gently. Tweek wobbles on his feet and falls a little forward, pressing himself into Kenny's mouth. He sighs and moans, pushing their bodies up closer. He's hard in his work pants, and he rubs up against Kenny so that he can feel it. Kenny is hard, too, and it makes Tweek's heart skip a beat. He can't believe that he makes somebody so handsome and confident, somebody like Kenny, feel that way.

"Mm," Kenny hums into Tweek's neck, "You're already hard for me."

"Ngh – um – fuck, I am," Tweek manages, stumbling over his words as Kenny's hand sinks down to trace the outline of Tweek's erection.

Kenny strokes along the length of it with just the tips of his fingers, leaning his face upward to connect their mouths again. He's panting into Tweek's mouth and it makes Tweek hot all over. He starts to quiver, and can't stop the noises that come from him as Kenny touches him. It's not enough, not nearly enough.

"Backroom," Tweek pleads against Kenny's mouth.

"I like your thinking," Kenny agrees. He grips Tweek's skinny wrist and yanks him through the door into the back. They close and lock it behind him. In an instant, Kenny throws Tweek up against it and wraps his arms around Tweek's neck. He crushes their lips together, licking into Tweek's mouth. Kenny presses their bodies together and gently thrusts himself against Tweek. The friction makes Tweek groan into Kenny's mouth.

Tweek hooks his fingers into the belt loops of Kenny work pants and moans out, "Off."

Kenny pulls back to untie his apron and tosses it onto the tile floor. He fumbles with his belt buckle and sighs at his own touch. The sight makes Tweek hot everywhere. His cheeks heat up as he watches Kenny dispense of his black polo shirt and shimmy out of his pants, kicking them off to the side.

Kenny cocks a brow and asks, "You like what you see? You do. I can tell." Kenny's body is lean and muscled, though he looks like he doesn't eat enough. His skin has not a single flaw on it. The only marking is a large tattoo in the center of his chest, a grim reaper. It seems dark for something that sunny Kenny would put on his body, and it makes Tweek's mouth go dry.

Kenny slinks toward Tweek. Tweek's eyes immediately flick to Kenny's erection where it's contained in his briefs. He's excited by it, but nervous, too. He swallows the lump in his throat and asks, "So, uh, how are we going to do this?"

Kenny hums and noses at Tweek's jaw before licking up his neck. He murmurs, "I'm flexible."

Tweek doesn't think that he could handle the pressure of being in charge of pleasuring Kenny McCormick during his first time having sex, so he says, "You – you can fuck me," even though Clyde says that it hurts.

Kenny nods to this and kisses Tweek. His hands go to Tweek's belt buckle and opens it. When Kenny pulls open Tweek's fly, he moves his hand up and down the length of Tweek's cock through his boxers, making Tweek moan and thrust up into Kenny's hand.

"You got anything we can use for lube?" asks Kenny.

Tweek's heart pumps faster at the question and he answers, "There's lotion in the front pocket of my bag."

"Perfect," says Kenny. He pecks a kiss to Tweek's lips before retrieving it, and commands softly, "We'll do it on the table."

Tweek's eyes flick to the conference table crammed into the center of the room. It's a wobbly thing, but he supposes that they're both pretty skinny guys. He lets his work pants slide to the floor before slowly making his way over to the table. Kenny's eyes follow him as he walks, and he remarks, "Who knew you were hiding such a cute little body under all those clothes?"

Tweek blushes and tries to stammer out a response, but can't think of anything to say. Even 'thank you' seems like a stupid thing to tell Kenny. He sits on the table, making it wobble a little. Kenny joins him, crouching back on his knees. He orders softly, "Lie back."

Tweek does, and Kenny stoops down to press his lips to Tweek's, probing gently with his tongue before he strokes his hands down Tweek's sides, making him shiver. Kenny stops at the waistband of Tweek's boxers and says, "I'm gonna take these off, okay?"

"Please," is what Tweek finds comes out of his mouth next. He's so hard. He just needs to be touched, to get relief, and Kenny is making him feel like he's on fire.

Kenny pulls off Tweek's boxers and casts them aside. He ducks down to press damp kisses down the center of Tweek's chest. He sucks gently on Tweek's abdomen and bites down, just enough to make it sting, and tease a moan out of Tweek. His eyes flick up to meet Tweek's just before his licks a strip up the shaft of Tweek's cock.

"_Ah_," Tweek cries out. He presses up toward Kenny's mouth. Kenny laughs, a rumbling vibration against Tweek's body that sends a shudder through him. He whines and begs, "More."

"Hold your horses, greedy," Kenny teases, but he ducks back down again and takes the head of Tweek's cock into his mouth, sucking firmly.

Tweek muffles a sob into his arm and snaps his hips up. Kenny holds him down, swallowing him down inch by inch. It feels incredible, having the heat of Kenny's mouth wrapped around him pressing up and down on him. He starts to shake, and pushes Kenny off when his brain goes funny, "I'm gonna come if you keep doing that," he says deliriously.

Kenny grins and kisses Tweek again, before sliding back. He plucks up the lotion and pumps some onto his fingers. He glances over Tweek, his chest heaving, before he asks, "Hey, you okay with all this?"

Tweek looks at him like he's insane, and says, "What the fuck are you asking me that for?"

Kenny shrugs, "No harm in making sure," before he heaves Tweek's legs up onto his shoulders. He rubs his finger gently around Tweek's entrance, telling him to relax, that he'll make it good. Tweek closes his eyes as Kenny slides a finger into him with care. It feels strange, but good, and Tweek lets himself grow used to the touch. Kenny massages inside him, until he presses up against something that makes Tweek buck up off of the unsteady conference table. Kenny chuckles and does it again, and Tweek whines.

Kenny works him open, eventually easing in another finger. When he adds a third, Tweek feels uncomfortable and makes a soft noise at the stinging. Kenny says, "I'm sorry. It hurts the first time."

"Ugh, I don't give a shit. Just shut up and fuck me," Tweek grunts out. It does hurt a little, but he doesn't mind it, and he wants even more.

Kenny cocks a brow and responds tartly, "Excuse you, I am trying to deflower you in a gentlemanly manner."

Tweek reaches behind him and grabs the nearest object, which turns out to be an unopened plastic stack of lids. He throws it at Kenny and says, "Fuck your gentlemanly manners."

"Ow," Kenny expresses, rubbing the place on his head that the lids hit, "Fine. Jesus."

Kenny slinks off of the table and pulls off his briefs, before he retreats across the room and digs in the pocket of his discarded pants, extracting the foil packet of a condom. He climbs back in front of Tweek and arranges him back into his position before ripping it open and rolling it over his cock. He makes a high noise of appreciation at his erection finally being touched, and slicks lotion over himself.

Tweek feels Kenny pressing into him a moment later. It feels good, but it comes with a burn that makes Tweek breathe harder. He barks out, "Just go!"

Kenny pants, "If you say so." He thrusts fully forward. Tweek groans. He feels full, but good. He likes it. Kenny stays still for a long moment. He reaches forward and strokes Tweek's sweaty hair back from his forehead. He breathes out, "You feel so fucking good, Tweek."

And he begins to thrust. He's gentle at first, his movements small and calculated.

But when Tweek demands, "Harder!" Kenny obliges, fucking him down into the table. It creaks and groans under their weight, shaking precariously back and forth with each snap forward of Kenny's hips. They kiss, groaning into each other's mouths. Kenny breaks out to press sloppy, smaller kisses to Tweek's collarbone, scraping his teeth over Tweek's nipples as he moves. His hand wraps around Tweek's cock, and that touch is all he needs to go off like a rocket, coming in spurts onto his own stomach.

"Fuck, Kenny," Tweek hoarsely cries.

Kenny bends down and kisses him with swollen lips as he thrusts forward in a few harder, more deliberate strokes before coming himself, crying out into Tweek's neck. He slumps forward onto Tweek, breathing hard while he softens inside him. He runs his fingers through Tweek's damp hair and says, "Holy shit. I can't believe I'm at work right now."

Tweek blinks at that and says, "Jesus, we're supposed to be working right now."

As if to illustrate their situation, the table beneath them makes a final pained groan before there's a cracking noise, and they go sailing down toward the floor. Kenny and Tweek collapse in a heap onto the tile, tangled up in each other.

Kenny laughs, and shakily pulls off of Tweek. He pulls off the condom and dumps it into the trashcan before wondering out loud, "Shit, what if we had customers?"

"We just broke the table," Tweek dazedly remarks, looking behind him, "I hope that wasn't expensive."

"It was a piece of shit anyway," Kenny shrugs. He pulls his underwear back over his hips before returning to where his work uniform is pooled on the floor. As he's belting his pants back into place, he says, "You need help getting up?"

Tweek moans from the floor, "In a minute." He feels strange, open and sore, but so, so good.

Kenny tucks his shirt into his waistband and gives Tweek an amused look of concern, "Are you sure you don't want help, soldier?"

"Mmph," Tweek replies. He grips the broken table and uses it to leverage himself up and runs his hands through his hair, still damp with sweat. He says, "Jesus, my parents are going to kill me. 'Tweek, why weren't you working?' Sorry, I was busy getting fucked on the table in the backroom. Oh, and by the way, we broke the table."

"Calm down," Kenny says, waving Tweek off as he sticks his head through his apron and ties it, "And get dressed, dude. Our shift isn't even over yet."

"Yeah," Tweek says absently, as Kenny heads back into the shop. He dresses slowly, giving himself a minute to take it all in before he exits back out into the coffee shop. Bebe's at the counter facing Kenny and looking irritated.

When Bebe lays eyes on Tweek, who is adjusting his belt to be tighter, she glances back at Kenny and says, "No fucking way."

Tweek flips her off, mainly because he can't think of anything else to do.

The rest of their shift passes without consequence. There are few customers, and Kenny and Tweek spend most of their time dicking around behind the counter. Tweek gets his homework done for biology, but mostly just doodles onto his school notes while Kenny messes around with his phone. Come closing time, they clean up and lock up quietly.

As they walk out, Kenny offers Tweek a cigarette. Tweek takes it, and accepts a light.

"So, dude," Kenny says, "You think I could come around to your house sometimes and we can do that again? That was fucking awesome."

Tweek doesn't know why, but this makes him break out into a grin, and he agrees, "Yeah. Fuck yeah, man."

"Awesome," Kenny says, smiling easily. He exhales smoke through his nostrils and leans over. He kisses Tweek thoroughly, tearing away after a few seconds only to breathe. Tweek stares at him, and Kenny stares back, before winking and slapping Tweek across the ass.

"_Ow_," Tweek says.

Kenny just smiles, and says, "See you later, dude."

He walks away, whistling out a jaunty song that Tweek wishes he knew the words to.

**Happy very very very late birthday Sami!**

**Love, I am an asshole.**


End file.
